Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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