i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Drunk is a universal language darling
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