if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
