dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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