I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
