so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
