I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She swung at the pinata with crutches
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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