If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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