Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
did i just pee glitter
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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