Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
