May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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