i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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