Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
