and you said cock pushups were impossible
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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