If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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