Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
