BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
