You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
