can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
