its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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