THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
