Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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