if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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