the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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