Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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