in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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