I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
