I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
