i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
