OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
