Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
