she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
