yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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