If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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