I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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