you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
