covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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