when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
