so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
