so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
