No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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