You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
