So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
