spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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