i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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