So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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