Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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