Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
