We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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