plz talk dirty to me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
