well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am one with the molecules
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
