Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
