I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
