They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
