all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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