I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
