i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We need to rekindle our bromance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
