Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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