Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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