if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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