guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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