so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
