I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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