I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize