we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
