Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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