he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
